Romance | this aint a fairytale.

So I randomly stumbled upon the little speech I wrote for our Youth Group in grade 12, where every week someone was chosen to give a “talk.” (Yes, when I have assignments due I tend to get distracted by looking at old pictures/documents). It’s sad that what I talked about then still applies to me now, even after 4 years. Maybe I should take my grade 12 self’s advice… but obviously it’s not that easy.

Fear

A lot of the talks people have already given, had a lot to do with something that just recently happened to them, or something that meant a lot to them. I always got scared when people joked around about how they would pick me to speak next for youth group. And my excuse was always that I wouldn’t know what to talk about, because nothing “inspired” me at the moment. But now that I think of it, I had no real excuse. I was just afraid. And being afraid has always been a major thing in my life, even though it didn’t hit me at first. And I’m sure that some of us here are controlled by fear, and don’t even know it.

Everyone has their own personal fears; whether it’s a fear of heights, fear of doorknobs, fear of failure, fear of commitment, or a fear of failing their parents or God. Regardless of the types and causes, people who are driven by fear often miss great opportunities because they are afraid to venture out. Instead, they play it safe, avoiding risks and hiding behind the walls they have built to protect them.

The song I’m going to play now, is called Wild Horses. This song talks mainly about her fear of commitment, but if you take out the lines talking about it, it can basically be applied to just fear in general.

That song was basically about this girl who compares her wish to love freely with how wild horses run free. I think my favourite part of this song is when she says “All I want is the wind in my hair. To face the fear but not feel scared.” I think a lot of us want that. We want to overcome the fear in our lives, yet we want to do it the easy way.

But fear isn’t always entirely bad. Fear can sometimes drive people to do better. For example, if someone is afraid of disappointing their parents, they do their best to study hard and get decent grades. But on the other hand, if they let that fear control them to the point that they are almost punishing themselves for every bad mark, fear isn’t a good idea.

And most of you that know me, I am terrified of public speaking. No matter how loud or stupid I can get in public places, I am terrified. And most of the times, I let it dominate me. Since elementary school, I always had an S or an N in class participation. Half the time, I knew the answers to the questions asked, and wanted to give my input into the class discussion, but I was always too afraid of making a mistake. Even now at grade 12, I still hesitate to raise my hand, even though I want so bad to say something. In turn, I miss the opportunity of not only getting the mark, but finally being heard.

There are so many things we want to do, but it’s always fear that stops us. We wish we can do things without thinking about the consequences, or thinking about what other people will think of us. And this is a really big issue, especially in high school. Coming into this big and new environment, all we wanted to do was fit in. We were afraid of being an outcast, so we took the easy way out: we styled our hair the same way as everyone else, wore brands names everyone else wore, and stayed within the lines of our “group.” We were afraid of people rejecting who we really were, so we built these walls to protect us.

Thankfully, with Youth Group, we’re taking a step away from that. We aren’t afraid to show that we have a relationship with God. Youth group is a great opportunity to meet new people and strengthen our relationship with God. If we let our fear of showing people our religious side drives our lives, then we wouldn’t even be here right now, singing and praying together. We wouldn’t be able to enjoy this opportunity. And I am glad that we all chose to be that wild horse.

Just as a last note: Be afraid. As weird as it sounds, be afraid. But don’t let that fear dominate you, and prevent you from missing out on some of the greatest things you could ever come to know or experience. And this is just something I came across on one of those chain e-mail things: As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.